Much of the decorations that fill the space are Ohio State-themed pieces of some kind, ranging from framed photos of Woody Hayes to handmade, faded picture collages of games and players from decades past. A pay-to-tell-your-weight machine sits next to the front door, out of operation for years, and the bar’s biggest television sits on top of a metal shelving unit that is, of course, enhanced with weird statues and the occasional holiday decoration.
The Johnnie’s Glenn Avenue Grill secondary room holds the bar’s pool table amid some challenging cue angles thanks to the narrow nature of the space. A pinball machine can be found here in addition to a few more overflow tables and chairs that quickly fill on busy evenings. The women’s restroom and what looks to be a phone booth can be found in this room as well, both of them dated, interesting and worth exploring.
Venturing further into the building is not just allowed but encouraged, the room behind the bar a converted kitchen not in the sense of a restaurant kitchen but in the sense of your uncle’s unused personal kitchen. Johnnie’s Glenn Avenue Grill tradition dictates that cheese balls and pretzels are perpetually available here, sets of Styrofoam bowls used to hold the free-for-all snacks. The beer selection has expanded over the years thanks to coolers added and on display in this converted kitchen, the available varieties stretching from bottom-of-the-barrel old man beers (our favorite) to local, craft and (gasp) even seltzer options.
From there, Johnnie’s feels a little lawless, the back room home to the men’s room, a handful of tables and what looks to be excess inventory most of the time. A back patio that was once ringed in what looked like chicken coop wire fencing can be found here, often used for those on a smoke break but somehow still mysterious. Everything beyond the bar can feel like a portal to parts unknown, bar patrons sometimes disappearing and reappearing from the back few rooms of Johnnie’s.
Johnnie’s Glenn Avenue Grill is, without a doubt, a must-visit Columbus dive bar experience that cannot be recommended more highly. The neighborhood location, the tiny footprint, the cheese balls, the absurdly low prices, the extensive collection of odds and ends, they all add up to what a dive bar experience can be and should be, unpretentious absorption into an inviting atmosphere that feels familiar with every visit.
