Welcome to the Johnsons

New York, New York

Field Note

There is a fine line between a dive bar and a regular bar with a dive bar theme, a line that Welcome to the Johnsons brings to life on New York City’s Lower East Side. Opened in 1999, Welcome to the Johnsons is often referred to as a theme bar, an 1970s-era, intentionally-architected bit of hipster humor in the form of a low-frills dive bar. That being said, low prices and VHS tapes never hurt anyone, especially someone looking for a dive bar in Manhattan.

If pressed, this reviewer would probably not classify Welcome to the Johnsons as a true dive bar but rather an homage to the 1970s, down to the grandma’s basement vibe inside. An almost entirely blank exterior does little to prepare visitors for the array of visual stimulation found inside, the only decorations a simple red awning over the front door and a handwritten sign at sidewalk level inscribed with the name of the bar.

Picturing a retro 1970s-era home could probably substitute for actually describing the Welcome to the Johnsons interior. Beer is served out of an old school standup refrigerator, the drink menu is limited to only dive bar basics and more than one bowling trophy can be found inside. A small L-shaped bar in the front of the space is about the only standard fixture inside, flanked by textured panes of mirrored glass behind the bar. Live music is played here on occasion, most notably in the form of early Lady Gaga performances, the singer still a vocal advocate for the bar.

The rest of the Welcome to the Johnsons interior is made up of rooms of a home, a small sitting room in front giving way to a party room in one corner, a dining room table in another. They activity room of sorts includes the bar’s pool table, wood paneling, a selection of VHS tapes and an old school tube TV recessed into the bar’s wall often making use of the bar’s video tape collection. Black light posters have been added here to really round out the vibe.

Opposite the pool table, a dining room nook includes a vintage table surrounded by framed photos of family members that presumably belong to someone’s family, somewhere. Be sure to admire the wooden spoon mounted to the wall here. A light-up Santa can be found atop the refrigerator, commanding the room just above a sign that reads “PBR Cans 3.00.” A bit of dive bar decor peeks out here in the form of stickers covering the fridge, matched by a similar set affixed to the pool table.

The best seating can be found in the comparatively regal setting of the main room near the Welcome to the Johnsons front door, the decor here tuned to a sitting room-style frequency. A landscape painting, shelves full of trinkets and robust wood paneling surrounds low tables that house a handful of guests. Summer at Welcome to the Johnsons brings well-regarded margaritas.